June 06, 2016

9 Customers You Deal with in Retail

Hello friends,
           Here I am again coming at you with another post, I'm totally on a roll. Today we are discussing the wonderful world of customers we meet in retail. If you have ever had the pleasure (Ha!) of working in retail, you will understand the struggle.  So, without further ado, let's get into it.

1. The Early Risers

When you working retail and you get to experience the early morning joy of opening the store, you will know of the Early Risers. These disgustingly eager people who think waking up at 7AM is sleeping in. You know the ones, the joggers, the gym rats, the soccer moms...ugh! There is nothing more that I hate than pulling up to work in the morning and I see Suzy the Soccer Mom waiting by the door. You get out and walk cautiously up to the door.

"What time do you open?" she asks.
"At 9:30"
You know, the hours are right on the window....RIGHT THERE!!
Then Suzy pulls out the freaking puppy dog eyes...

"Do you think I could grab something really quick before you open?"
"No, sorry, my tills aren't even open yet"
 Since I haven't even got in the freaking store because you cornered me!
"Well I can pay with a credit card"
"oh...in that case...NO!"

Ugh! Go home and get to bed. 

2. The Price Checkers

The store is full of people and your helping everyone out, when Miss Ignorance come up and taps your shoulder. 

"How much is this?" She asks while dangling the product in your face.
"Umm..not to sure...the price should be there..." 
"No, I didn't see a price," 
"There should be a price...everything in our store has a price."
"No, I looked, I don't see anything."
So, you proceed to excuse yourself from helping a customer and walk over freaking annoyed because, Haza! There is a freaking price tag right under the product. 
"It's right there Ma'am"
"Oh, I didn't see that" The she proceeds to laugh at herself like she is freaking Jerry Lewis whilst you just stand there wondering what has happened to humanity. 

3. The Not-so-Super Mom

So, you are having a great day. The store is dead and you have lots of time to straightening and cleaning up. Suddenly, you feel a tremor on the ground, you hear annoying screams, and in walks the Mom with her freaking Von Trappe Family Singers. Like, must you bring in your whole dang family, like leave the boys in the cage lady. John Jr. touches every single thing in the store and little Susan wipes her boogers on the window all while the Chucky twins run up and down the isles with carts. Meanwhile, Super Mom is pondering which nail polish to buy and blurting out unimpressive little reprimands. Like, Yeah Super Mom, John Jr is really intimidated by that weak threat of losing his ipad for 2 hours. He is shaking in his Timberlands. 
Just before she leaves she looks around at the mess her kids made...
"oh, my kids really made a mess, sorry about that!" 
You proceed to poke your eyes out. 

4. Miss Needy

You know you have your work cut out for you when Miss Needy walks in. You kind of avoid eye contact whilst muttering a quick "hi". She walks off and does her thing and you have a glimmer of hope. Maybe she won't need your help today! 

"Excuse me, could I get help?" 
Snap back to reality, oop there goes gravity...(Eminem reference y'all)
"Coming..." You utter as your hang your head and drag your feet. 
She floods you with questions, your give her answers, then...silence.
You slowly try to eek away, then....
"Wait, I have one more question" 
You answer, then silence.
You try again to escape.
"Oh and I need..." 
Common Lady!!! Like I have been standing here in silence for a minute and a half. Let me go!

5. The Villan

We know them, we dread them, we see their faces in our nightmares, the Villan! She yells, she give you attitude and she even snarls and barks. You even know their car, and the sound of their voice, and their scent...you try to hide behind a shelf, she sees you, you pretend to be cleaning said shelf. Maybe she won't smell your fear. 

6. The BFF

You see her walking up to the door, she looks a little too perky. 
"Oh hey girlfriend!" She says with a giant smile. 
You check your perimeter to see who else is around, you thought the store was empty. Then you realize she is talking to you. 
"Hi" You answer awkwardly. 
"How have you been?" 
"How come you didn't add me on Instagram, Facebook, snapchat, My Space, MSN Messenger and BBM?"

Oh, so she was the creepy stalker lady with the unusual and terrifying username, MissSexxyHotstuffwillstalkyou, trying to add you all over the interweb. Should I change my name and move to a foreign country?

7. The Procrastonator

It's 8:50 Pm and you are ready to get home and enjoy what's left of your Friday night. You start getting the store ready to close when Pam the Procrastinator pulls up in front of the store. She walks up as your noticeably roll your eyes. 

"Sorry, I know your closing but I just need one thing. I'll be fast" She says as she walks all over your freshly mopped floor. 
She is right, she only needs one thing and she is heading up to cash, when...
"Oh, are these new? I want one!! Which color should I get?" 
I could freaking careless. 
"The pink one" I exclaim. 
"No, I hate pink. I love purple, it goes with my eyes. Do you have purple?" 
There is no purple there, do you think I am holding the purple hostage? 
"No, sorry, we don't have purple. Whatever we have is there." 
"Maybe Blue. Do you have blue?" 
Did you just hear me lady? We only have what is out!!!
"No sorry, all that we have is out"
You glance at the clock, it's 9:57PM.
"Hmmm...maybe I should do white. I wish you had cream. Do you know if you have cream?" 
Nooooo! Get out you idiot!
"No, we do not have any cream."
It's freaking 9:01 lady. Pick one and go home. 
"Hm...I don't know what to choose" Giggles at herself.
It's...9...07...PM...I want to go home. You literally had all freaking day to come here and get your "one thing"...now pick a color and go the heck home!!!!!
"I think I will just pass, I know you want to go home"
oh really? Where did you get that idea? Was it my cold greeting when you walked in 20 minutes ago? My unenthusiastic answers to your pointless questions, or was it me, smacking my head against the computer screen when you couldn't pick a freaking color? 

8. The Fox

Your just minding your own business and doing your job when He walks in, The Fox. 

"Hi There." You mutter while trying not to make eye contact. 
"Hey" He says cooly. 
Can he see me sweating? Oh Gosh, he can see me sweating. 
He asks you a bunch of question and all your can think of is how Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On is playing on the radio in the background. 
oh no! My glasses are getting foggy. Try to smoothly remove glasses from face...glasses slip out of hand from clammy fingers and crash on the floor. 
"Oh, sorry, Im so clutsy!" You say nervously. 
"That's okay. We all have our days." Throws head back in deep laughter. 
Nervous chuckles...let me have your babies...I hope I didn't say that out loud. 

9. The Perfect Customer

This customer does not exist. 

Thank you for reading...until next time. 

June 05, 2016

3 things I learned in my 27 years

Okay, okay, I know I'm going to get shade from some people because they think I am pulling the "wise, old owl" card when I'm only 27. There, I said it, I'm ONLY 27 years young. But I defiantly feel like I have dealt with alot for the average person of this age. This post is by no means stating that I am old. I am just sharing my musings with others who may have experienced similar. Also, If you are reading this post for love advice, turn away now. I am very limited with my "Love" experience. However, I do touch on it at one point. 

So, now that we got the disclaimer out of the way, I'm here to share my thoughts. I turn 27 this month and I have admit, I don't feel like I should be that old. It feels like I was just crying over turning 20 like 5 minutes ago. Yes, I cried. Today I shall take my life experiences, pop them in a juicer and extract my life lessons. I hope you will find this interesting, so let's get into it. 

1. You Will Always be Tested

At work, in love and in life,  you will always be tested. At work, they will test your limits, your worth ethic and even test your loyalty. They will see how far they can push you before you will snap and stand up for yourself. They will even make you question your sanity. I have worked in retail for 10 years and I have never had a job where they don't pick on something. Now let's be honest here,some days I'm extremely unmotivated but even on my hardest working days there is something that they aren't pleased with.

 In Love, you will be tested by the person who shows interest. They will see how far they can push your morals, try and make you jealous, even test how far you will go to get/keep them. In life, you will always be tested to some degree. Even your sanity will be tested at some point, and if you dont already know what I mean, don't worry, you will.

2. You never know what you are capable of facing until you have no choice but to face it. 

Before I lost my Mom last year I, never in a bazillion years, thought I could face losing a parent, especially my mother. I was forced to do the unthinkable. Forced to plan a funeral, forced to pass by her room everyday,  forced to go on without her. Forced to make decisions without getting her feedback. Forced to live without my best buddy. But I did it, and quite brilliantly,  I might add. I am living life, it's not easy, but I am doing it regardless.  So, when, in life, you think you could NEVER deal with something, don't underestimate yourself. You are stronger than you might think.

3. No Matter how bad things get, it will get better.

There have been countless times in the last 27 years where things have been bad, so bad thay I never thought life would be the same. I even anticipated what it was going to be like living in misery (ah, the brain of an overthinker). But you know what? It does get better. You will go back to being yourself and life will balance out. It never stays bad for long and once it does get better, you will realize, it won't be the first or the last time things will seem bad. Life has a way of throwing a monkey wrench into any and all situations, not to be pessimistic or anything.

The best piece of advice I can give it grab your surfboard and go with the waves. It's the only way you can prevent them from crashing over and consuming you.

Bottom line friends, life is rough and you will learn your own lessons. These are just some of the ones I have learned personally.  Let me know below what some of your life lessons have been. Until next time...

June 01, 2016

My 7 Hour Adventure in New York City

Hello fellow jetsetters, 
       I know it has been a while since we last spoke and I am truly sorry for my unexplained absence. To save a long winded post about all the life drama happening, let's just go with, life gets hard sometimes (think my anxiety post). En route through these rough little road blocks I found myself on an adventure and I lived to tell about it. I finally made my way to the Big Apple, as in New York City. 

            My sister and I were offered the opportunity to go on a group excursion to NY about 7 months ago and we jumped at the chance. I had wanted to see NY ever since my childhood days of watching Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. One of the main reasons for the trek was for touring purposes. But we did get one day in the City that doesn't sleep, about 7 hours to be exact. Seven hours to squish in all the things we wanted to see.

          Our adventure began in Brooklyn. Let me tell you, I know in my heart that I belong in Brooklyn. From it's cobblestone streets to the corner bookstores, From the hipster cafes to the charming brownstones. Ask anyone who ventured with me while on this trip and they will clarify I did not shut up about how much I loved Brooklyn. I only wish I could afford the $10,000+ it costs per month to occupy this lush charming community, not to mention the amount of money I would spend on Brooklyn pizza every day... *me drooling*. We were determined to try NY pizza whilst there because..well...it's New York pizza and I am a pizza fiend. We stopped off at the corner pizzeria called Ignazios and the pizza was worth every hard earned penny. Although I had a foot full of blisters (sorry for the image) from my poorly chosen shoes, after much convincing, I was persuaded to take a stroll across the Brooklyn Bridge and it was worth every instagram-worthy shot. Brooklyn, you will forever have my heart. Until we meet again...

     Snapping out of that pipe dream, the second leg of our adventure took us to the hustling streets of Manhattan. A town with bright lights, lots of people, streets full of yellow cabs and thugs trying to sell you CD'S.  After an amazing tour of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, We started our shoelace journey off in the legendary time square. A jumbo-tron driven community with lots of strangers dressed like creepy cartoon characters getting all up in your business. Venturing through Times Square, we got asked half a dozen times if we wanted to take a bus tour by some sketchy salesmen dressed in green. I had only seen this place in movie scenes so being there was pretty surreal.

We whisked by the famous Radio City Music Hall, the theater that Daddy Warbucks rented whilst trying to ease Annie's boredom and home of the Rockettes, you know. We hit 5th Avenue, home of designer duds and rocks you won't find in the park.

Strolling along we came to the black dress, tiara and cigarette holder worthy, Tiffany's. Yes, THE Tiffany's. The one that Audrey Hepburn stuffs her face with croissant in front of...yes...that Tiffany's.

As we continued making our way down 5th, we finally came to the edge of Central Park and there, standing in all its movie-moment glory, stood The Plaza Hotel. It's iconic awnings and red steps, there it was. As we "casually" snuck in the entrance, I was surprised by what I saw. It looked nothing like it did when Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin checked in ( I found out later that Big Business' "Plaza" scenes were shot on a sound stage. Disappointing!!). It featured gorgeous chandeliers dripping in jewels and not a red carpet in sight (see Big Business). Although a wedding prevented us from further exploration, the Plaza was stunning. 

The rest of our day included passing by all the touristy locals such as Rockafeller Center, The NY Public library, Grand Central Station and finally ending our day meeting the bus in Madison Square Garden. 

Although I was wired from the days happenings, seeing the city lights as we drove past Broadway, little Italy and Chinatown, calmed me and I was ready for bed. That was it, I accomplished seeing what I needed to see in NY within 7 hours. 
       Final thoughts on the big city, I say everyone needs to see it once. There is nothing to describe how overwhelmed and underwhelmed you will be at the same time. Forget what you see in the movies and just walk about and take it all in. New York, if we ever meet again, I will be ecstatic. However, if not, I want you to know, I enjoyed every single breathtaking moment I had with you and I had the blisters and swollen feet to prove it. It was a slice...until next time.